Part 79

"On her wedding day, mama was busy with the preparations and I was assigned the responsibility of welcoming the guests. We had very few people from our side. Some of mama's friends had come. There was no one from the family. I welcomed the groom's parents and they asked me to call my mama. It seemed that they had some urgent work with Mama. I saw them exchanging looks. When my mama came out, they took her to another room. My mama's best friend was with her. I waited outside. "Arnav said seriously.

"Even I felt the same when amma babuji talked about jiji's marriage. It is so hard to think that the sister who loved us so much will be leaving us !" thought Khushi. She had inadvertently started relating his story with hers and feeling the same pain and joy as he did.

“I waited outside the room hoping that everything is going to be ok. I was and I am still, an optimist. But my intuition was telling me that something was wrong. I thought of her good deeds and her faith in God. But the wait was killing me”

The groom’s parent came out but mama did not. They called all their relative and friends who had gathered there for the wedding. I went to see my Di. She was dressed up in Bridal wear. She was looking so beautiful and happy that I could not tell her anything about what had happened outside. I was so happy for my sister. But then I heard commotion outside and rushed out.

His parents had called off the marriage! They were filing out from the hall. They looked furious. I looked around for support. I saw the same person who argued with my father once standing there smirking with curled up lips with quite a lot of his men. I dashed and caught his collar and asked him how dare he came here. Few of his men held me back and he smirked again. He brushed his kurta and left the hall.

I saw my mother coming out of the room and running towards her bedroom. I tried to follow her but was trapped in the crowd. People were discussing, whispering, looking at each other. And then I heard the gun shot! I screamed!” Arnav stopped breathless leaving papaji and Khushi motionless.

Khushi thought of her and her family’s plight when the parents of the groom demanded more dowry. She was desperate and had ran to convince the groom. She felt the plight of Arnav. She was completely in sync with her man. She kept looking at him. She wanted to say something but papaji’s warning held her back.

“I ran inside towards my mama’s bedroom. She had locked it from inside. I banged on the door in vain and in desperation broke open the door” Arnav could not say anything more. A tear droplet fell down on the floor. Khushi wished she could kiss his tears off. She swallowed hard with tears in her eyes. Papaji was looking away taking out his handkerchief.

“I looked at my mama on the floor. She had shot herself in the head” Arnav chocked struggling for breath. Papaji could not stop himself. Rising from his seat, he came around and placed his hand on his shoulder. Arnav was sitting like a statue with his head hung. He did not move. Khushi was so shocked that she gaped at both of them. Then burying her face in her hands let out a anguished scream.

Arnav saw his mother on the floor with blood streaming from her head. He screamed and bent down to lift her up. People gathered  shocked. Someone from the crowd took charge and called the doctor and the police. Someone called his Di. She fainted looking at her mother. The doctors and Police rushed in. Arnav could not assimilate anything. He sat near her body blankly. He did not go to see his Di’s plight. He wanted to run away from that scene and hide himself somewhere. Someone took him outside. The doctors had declared her death and the body was to be taken out for postmortem. Police asked numerous questions and Arnav answered them without knowing what he was talking or doing. In one moment his world had turned upside down. The decorated and illuminated Mansion had turned into cadaverous  ghostly ruins, as if someone had cursed it. He did not know who did what. His neighbors came for the help. Without even asking him they took care of everything.

They were to take her body for funeral and he saw an elderly lady rushing in lamenting and beating her breast. People whispered backing away a few paces. After some time she wiped her tears and talked to the person with her. She looked for Arnav and his Di. She held his Di’s hand and brought her to Arnav. She held them both and guided them out of the room. Arnav came home after the funeral.

He looked devastated but there was no trace of tears in his eyes. He had stunned his heart and looked so distanced as if he was standing alone at such a height that no one would reach there. He held his Di’s hand who was crying her heart out in the lady’s laps. That lady was stroking her with tears rolling down. And then Arnav looked at the lady. Nani had held his hand. He wrenched himself apart from her and began to leave. Nani caught him from behind and brought him back. He had hatred in his eyes. She held them both and said “You are coming with me!”

Arnav tried to free himself. He was angry with the whole world. His anger was suffocating him than bereavement. He had an urge of thrashing his mother’s Mandir in his house and throw away everything. He was wild in rage. His eyes spat fire. He was angry even at his Di. He was trembling in rage but had not spoken a word or dropped a single tear. He was shutting his heart, somewhere deep inside. He was locking it and wanting to throw away the key, never to unlock. He was burying his heart deep somewhere never to dig and find it out. He was trying to evaporate his tears. He was trying to throw his soul somewhere never to pick it up. He was turning into a heartless person.

He had lost all his innocence in one moment. What remained was the person with vengeance and rage. He hated the sympathy in the eyes of people. He did not want to meet anyone. He was surrounded by people but was far far away from all. He stared unfocused. He freed himself and went to his room He found out his pullover from his wardrobe and put it on. He pulled out his jacket, wore it. He took out his Coat and wore it, as if trying to hide his self from himself and from everyone else. He was locking himself and never ever would bring it out for anyone.

But that was not to happen.

Nani and his Di came into the room. Di screamed, “Chote! What are you doing? Where are you going?” His Di asked him frightened looking at the layers of clothes on him.

“With her!” said Arnav in a steady voice waiving his hand at Nani but not looking at her. He had spoken for the first time in 24 hours after the funeral.

Nani stayed with them for next few days to gather themselves. The men had appeared again and had a big argument with Nani too. Arnav stood up to them. This time nani intervened.

She packed up everything and took the siblings to her house. They were given a separate room. Arnav had not spoken to anyone. A small boy younger to Arnav had come running and was peeping from behind his mother. Arnav looked away. They came to their room and the little boy stood at the door. Anjali called him in.

He came and held Arnav's hand and asked "Are you my bhai and my Didi? Mom told me, I am your cousin" He said looking at Arnav. Arnav did not respond but Anjali said "Yes. And you are...?"

"I am Aakash" he said smiling at them. Arnav looked away. "Aakash bete! Called out nani. She had brought glasses of milk for them. Arnav had refused to have dinner. She made him drink the milk and went out.

Arnav had not slept for many days. His Di was so exhausted that she went to sleep immediately. He was staring at the ceiling unfocused. So many unanswered questioned confused him. There was a knock on the door. Both of them got up startled. Anjali opened the door. Nani came in. She sat on their bed. Arnav got up from the bed and went to the window and stood there looking out of the window with his back to nani.

"Chote, come here. I want to talk to you" He turned around but did not go near. She got up and came upto him. Holding his hand she made him sit on the bed. She sat beside them and said.

"I want to talk to both of you. I know you are very tired and need some sleep. But I have to tell you and I cannot sleep unless I tell you" She waited.

"You must be wondering, when I was in the same city, why did I not come before and why did I come now!" She said looking at Arnav. She had read his mind. He looked away never wanting to give her the satisfaction that she had understood him.

"Your mother met him for the first time in Sheesh Mahel where your father stayed. She had gone there with one of her friends. Your mother was just nineteen and father must be around thirty. She was beautiful and he was handsome, rich and formidable. It was a love at first sight. They couldn't stop meeting each other."

"Your mother was very dear to her father, your nanaji. He loved her very much. He wanted everything best for her. But when he came to know that she keeps meeting your father he was upset. He never liked your father's family. He tried to convince her but she did not listen. He forbade her from meeting him but she did not stop. He locked her up in the room and instructed all of us not to allow her to come out. I was torn between your nanaji and your mother. I could not see her pain nor could go against my husband.

And that day, your father barged in calling out for your mother. He was confronted by your nanaji. He overpowered your nanaji and broke open the lock of her room. She came out and they both stood up against your nanaji. He gave them the ultimatum and asked her to choose between her father and your father. She chose your father and went with him, never to come back. Later on I heard that they got married in a temple.

Your nanaji could not sustain this shock. He stopped socializing. He locked himself in the room most of the time. He ordered everyone in the house not to take her name. He called panditji and performed her last rites as if she was dead for him." Nani said heavily. Arnav swallowed hard. For the first time he realized his nani's pain.

"I was restrained from meeting her. And she did not bother to meet me either. But your nanaji's health deteriorated. His grief was eating him alive. He was bedridden. I wanted your mother to come home and meet him for the last time before he..." Nani sobbed. Anjali held her hand and Arnav looked away.

"He could sustain his ailment not even for a year. He died but asked me to promise him that I will never ever meet your mother. He had loved her so much that her name was on his lips when breathed last. His pride and ego did not allow him call her. He preferred death to her." Nani was breathless.

"I kept my promise throughout her life. But when I heard about this, I could not stop myself! I had never seen you two but my son, your mama that is her brother kept meeting her without his father's knowledge. He used to show me your photographs. I craved for all of you. But the sense of duty towards your nanaji prevented me from doing anything against his wishes. " she said.
"I came there determined to take both of you with me. I realized why your nanaji was against your father's family!" she stopped looking at both of them not knowing how to tell them.

"Your father really loved your mother but his family members played a very dirty and unspeakable game with you all. They have taken away your mansion from you. They had come to take the possession of all that your father owned!" she said in a mild tone. Still she was withholding something.

"I don't care! I don't care about the property!" blurted Arnav in despair.
"Neither do I!" said nani.

She kept quiet for a very long time lost in her thoughts. Arnav stared out of the window and Anjali kept looking at nani. At last nani said. "That's it! I hope both of you forgive me for everything!" and without looking at the kids she went out. Arnav heard her sobbing.